Thursday, August 8, 2013

Crank Crewes Elude Arlington Police

Hey Ms. Yupette,

You knew with all the interest in bicycles here in Arlington the bandits would start to get with the program. Well, just like New York and LA, the gangstas are using bicycles to facilitate various for-profit activities. Like the armed robbery in North Arlington last night. Like the speedy delivery of certain controlled substances to Arlington's Party Zones (you know where they are). Arlington Police are trying to figure out what's going on. They should visit New York where crank crewes have been ganging in the hoods for more than decade. Check out the homies riding dressed all in black at night. Bonus loot because you don't get pulled over for driving with a suspended license and expired registration.

Later,

DT213


17 Comments:

At 08 August, 2013 , Anonymous Jeff said...

What the Arlington Police and Bike Arlington won't tell you - the crank crewes are armed with big f-ing bowie knives.

 
At 08 August, 2013 , Anonymous Officer Doug Scott said...

Yes, it took us two hours to figure out the gang bangers who robbed a poor unfortunate citizen at knife point used bicycles to facilitate their escape.

 
At 08 August, 2013 , Anonymous Captain Brett Knucklehead, Third District said...

Yupette, knock it off now, or our next 2 AM "microwave hearing test" won't be at 85 db, it will be at 105 db.

 
At 08 August, 2013 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Question for Arlington Police Department: If a member of one of Arlington's crank crewes runs into my vehicle while I'm stopped at a stop light, why will the police give me a field sobriety test?

 
At 08 August, 2013 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Because driving is a privilege and riding a bicycle is a constitutional right?

 
At 08 August, 2013 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Yo, Kwami, we need the party treats right now, jump on your scooter, we're waiting in line at A-Town."

 
At 08 August, 2013 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Local gang banger biketards prefer Buck hunting knives with 5 or 6 inch blades for armed robberies.

 
At 08 August, 2013 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Since we're on this topic I would like someone to answer the following question:

If Tryvon Martin thought he was about to be attacked by George Zimmerman, would he not have the right, under Florida law, to stand his ground and defend himself by punching Zimmerman?

 
At 08 August, 2013 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Only works, in Florida and elsewhere, if you are unarmed and white.

 
At 08 August, 2013 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Last night the gangstas lifted a Yup's a i-phone, next week, or next month, it will be some Yup's $3900 custom street bike.

 
At 08 August, 2013 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

There's a growing market for high tech parts stripped from stolen bikes -- no nasty serial numbers.

 
At 08 August, 2013 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

stripped parts go to build rat bikes, f--- the yuptards

 
At 09 August, 2013 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

parts from stolen yuptard bikes also go to build custom street bikes for homies

 
At 09 August, 2013 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why are they pulling armed robberies when there's so much loot to be made from delivering drugs to the 'creative class'?

 
At 09 August, 2013 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

"The suspects seem to have disappeared, dogs can't pick up a trace, we better close it up here."

 
At 09 August, 2013 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Arlington Police spend too much time partying on their boats where they live, on the Redneck Riviera.

 
At 09 August, 2013 , Anonymous terzel96 said...

hit me up on hoo if y'all want a almost new SRAM quarq crankset which we looted from a yup crib in ballston

 

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